literature

You CAN Divide by Zero!

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Literature Text

" Impossible, " you say, " I couldn't get my calculator to compute it no matter how many times I tried. "
Well, it may be true that you cannot divide by zero on a calculator, but follow these handy steps
and you will be able to outwit ANY calculator or computer!

What you will need:

A marker ( Whatever color you'd like, especially if it's one of those scented ones! )
A piece of paper or a dry erase board. ( If neither is available, a styrofoam cup or a napkin will do fine. )
Tape ( The sticky kind, not the one you recorded reruns of Friends on. )
A Wall ( How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? )

Now if you have all those supplies ready, you can now begin to divide by zero!

Step One :
 Take your paper ( dry erase board, napkin, etc. ) and draw a zero on it. The size and color does not matter,
at least to the number anyway. It may matter to you, but as long you draw a zero, nobody else will care. Penmenship
doesn't matter either provided you can still tell it's a zero; but if you really need assistance, you could just google it.

Step Two:
 So now you have a zero on your choice of stationary, you can then proceed to tape it to a wall.
If walls are not available to you, then a tree or a fence will work as well. If neither of those are available,
then I feel incredibly sorry for you.

Step Three:
 After attaching your zero to its proper place, proceed to situate yourself either to the immediate left or right
of the zero so that you are technically " by " it.

Step Four:
 Now to divide by your zero. This part is up to your imagination, my friend. Still as a suggestion, you could:
 
 *Cut an apple or some other fruit
 *Solve a division problem
 *Or my personal favorite, just simply stand there. Your body is constantly creating new cells by mitosis,
  so really you would actually be dividing by zero MULTIPLE times just by existing.


Congratulations, you have divided by zero! Now go eat a cookie, you deserve it!
I'm pretty sure I'm not the first person think of this, but oh well. :P
I've always been much better at Language Arts than Mathematics anyway.
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